One year later...

It's hard to believe its been almost a year since I wrote in this blog.  So much has happened.  We moved into a new house, John left a few times, we went to Italy, London, Scotland, Belgium, France, and Amsterdam.  The army told us we had to go, then we got to stay again, then we had to go even sooner.  Now we're set to move to El Paso in just a few short weeks.  Well... from the moment they told us it was game over on our permanent European Vacation... I jumped into IVF mode again!  With only 3 short months left, I knew we had to make the most of this time and try just once more.  But.. Germany wasn't working for us.  So I researched clinics in Prague and Spain.  John was away on a field trip... but he gave me the go ahead to scope out a clinic in person.  It was a nice little girls trip!  Denise and I enjoyed the Spanish Sangria and Sun!  The clinic was amazing and the patient coordinator replied to my emails so quickly.  I met the doctor and he did a mock transfer and right away gave me my prescriptions.  This place is my answer!  I'll spare you all of the druggy details... but everything was going perfectly!

John and I booked a week long stay at a beautiful resort just outside of Malaga.  On Transfer day (Cinco De Mayo!), I had a quick 10 minute acupuncture before seeing the doctor and embryologist.  Let me just tell you... 5 people in lab coats came into the room beaming with positivity!  They could not wait to tell me about our embryos!  Dr. S couldn't stop smiling!  He handed me a printed sheet with 8 beautiful Embryos!  One little one stopped growing, but the other 7 were amazing!  2 were Graded AA and already hatching.  He explained to me that these embryos could be found in a textbook and that they have a very high chance of sticking!  I didn't know what to say... I just started crying.  My patient coordinator (M) grabbed a hold of my arm with excitement too.  The doctor told us now that we only should transfer one embryo due to the risk of twins.  I looked at John and cried some more.  He then suggested that if we do transfer 2, we should transfer one high quality and one lower quality.  This guy really doesn't want us having twins.  I know it's a risk and there is with any pregnancy.  We have been doing this for so many years, I really just want to be certain that one will stick.  So we decided on transferring the 2 best embryos anyways.  The embryologist laughed and said in Spanish "Prepare for a double Prom".

They wheeled me to the transfer room and up I went into the stirrups for the hundredth time.  We watched the catheter go in and release our two beautiful embabies!  It was so fast and easy... I was out of there in less than 20 minutes.  The doctor left us to rest for five minutes and wished us lots of luck.  Before leaving the clinic, I hugged M and noticed the office was quiet.  Everyone had gone out for their afternoon Siesta!!!!  LOL!  Spaniards take their Siestas seriously!

John and I took a leisurely stroll back to the car.  Normally I would have made him pull it around.  In the past, I've always been so delicate with myself.  Scared to dislodge the embryos.  No sneezing... no bumpy car rides... no walking.  But this time... I decided to just go with the flow.  We drove an hour back to our hotel and then walked to dinner.  The next few days were filled with ups and downs.  On day one... we decided to go out sight seeing in Cordoba.  I had every intention of taking it easy.  However, we lost track of time and ended up walking quite a bit.  By the end of the day I had myself convinced that I'd ruined the cycle because of the pure exhaustion I felt.  But the next day we rested... ALL DAY.  Talk about boring.  I googled every scenario I could think of.  I could pick out several "symptoms".  Then again, I felt all of these things could be contributed to the progesterone I'm on. 

We got back to Germany a week later ready for business.  The movers were coming in just a day and a half!!!  So much organizing and work to do and I was still worried about taking it easy.  John did all of the heavy lifting for me though.  The movers came and went.  They were pretty great and worked quickly.  Our things were packed and in their crates in a day and a half.

Tuesday, May 12.  I finally decided to swing by the post office and pick up the pregnancy tests I'd pre-ordered before leaving for Spain.  My reasoning behind ordering them and not just buying them in the commissary was that it would be too tempting to test early.  This way, I'd have to wait until the tests arrived in the mail.  Well they got there pretty quickly and it was torture driving past the post office every day.  But we were busy and I didn't have time to stop anyways.  Still 2 full days before I was allowed to take a blood test.  But having these pee sticks staring me in the face was awful!  John tried to steal them and hide them away... but I begged him to leave them.

My heart was racing all afternoon staring at these sticks.  I even had a big cry over it.  John told me I needed to wait... but my heart just needed to know the answer.  I snuck off with a cup and a stick.  I was going to wait the whole 3 minutes before looking at the result window... but again... I can't control myself.  I watched the lines quickly fade into focus.  OMG!!!  There are two lines!!!!  I grabbed the stick and went running down the stairs hollering for John.  "Baby... I peed on the stick... I'm so sorry.. I had to".  He looked at the stick and grabbed me as I shook in his arms crying.  I looked up at him and he had tears in his eyes too!  I kept looking at the stick not believing that it was true.  I still don't believe it's true!  I will go in for a blood test tomorrow morning... but for now I'm remaining cautiously optimistic!  15 years.  FIFTEEN!!!  I can't believe this!!!  I won't believe this until it's confirmed by a beating heart.  Please Let this be real!!!