Sunday, June 1, 2014

Again with the waiting.

Woke up super early Wed morning to drive up to Nurnberg for the transfer.  Met with the embryologist first who showed us our 2 embryos to be transferred.  She started off by saying "Today we have 2 beautiful embryos to be transferred".  I liked the word beautiful so I got excited.  She told us that one had progressed to a full Blastocyst.  We've never had a blast before.  The 2nd embryo was a morula.  I asked if it was a better quality morula than last time and she said yes.  The assisted hatching was performed the day before and she showed me pictures of what they looked like after the hatching, but I can't recall what they looked like.  In hindsight, I wish I'd asked to keep those pictures as well.

The doctor came in and asked if I had any questions.  I just kept asking if these embryos were better than last time.  He said yes and that the blastocyst had a very high chance of implanting.  So I'm crossing my fingers so hard!  This was John's very first embryo transfer.  He couldn't make it to the first two, so I'm hoping he was a little good luck charm.  I think the father should be present during this procedure for it to work don't you?  We saw the little specs on the monitor and watched as they sucked them up into the catheter.  John held my hand while the doctor placed them inside my uterus.  And we were left to rest for 10 minutes on the chair.

Here we are 4 days past 5 day transfer.  My hopes are dwindling.  The unknown is scary and I'm feeling quite negative about it.  I know it's just a defense of mine to prepare myself for a negative outcome, but I just can't help myself.  John wants me to be more positive.  But really... this is our 3rd IVF and one that was cancelled mid cycle.  I'm finding it really hard to believe that it would actually work for us.

As far as symptoms go, I've had some minor cramping on and off since the day after and sore BB's.  But I had that last time too and I contributed it to the progesterone.  This time I've added a 3 shots of Brevactid (hcg).  I had my last shot of it this morning, so it won't be out of my system for a few days.  The doctor said I could take a home test on Friday, but I'm worried that will be too early with the hcg still in my system from the shot.  We also have Rock Im Park tickets for the whole weekend... so if it's bad news, I just know I won't be the best company to my sweet husband.  Decisions, decisions :/

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