Monday, June 16, 2014


Well.  That last round was a bust too.  I've spent the last 2 weeks trying to accept it and move on.  But the heart wants what it wants.  I'm not really sure how or when my mind will say enough is enough.  I tried doing other things to distract me from the reality, but it's just not working.  I find myself crying in the middle of a park full of people pushing strollers.  I know John is frustrated with me.  He keeps telling me to let it go, but I just don't know how.  How do you give up on a dream?  How do you just let something go that you've wanted all your life?  People keep telling me to be grateful for what I have in my life...a son and an amazing husband.  I promise you that I am beyond grateful that I have these boys in my life.  But it does not take away my need to be a mommy again.  I am so overwhelmed with sadness right now and just can't see the end of the tunnel yet.  I need some time...and some space to learn how to accept this.

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