Apparently I only update this thing when we do IVF. Ooopsie! So anyways... here we are.. at it again. Knocked down a couple of times (still not knocked UP), but getting back up and trying again. Haha... see what I did there??? This time just feels different though. I mean it always feels different, but I'm in a better place with my life now. I hosted a weight loss challenge, which not only helped other girls... but myself too. I lost 17lbs! That felt amazing because I was in a huge rut since John got home from his vacation at the beach. It's always so easy to lose weight when he's gone because I'm working for him. But once he's here... I get happy and "comfortable" and don't really care about it much anymore. The weight loss challenge gave me something to work towards again! It also helped me get to know a few more people and really connect! I've made lots of new friends through it and grew stronger relationships with some I've known all along. Happy friendships make Paige a happy girl :). There was a short period there where I felt lost. I just didn't know where I belonged. But I think I've found my happy place and it's helped me understand myself a little better too. Anyways... along with the weight loss, I also joined a running group. It's still a Love-Hate kind of relationship, but it's growing on me, and I'm even starting to enjoy it! I've done 4 races over the last 6 months! 2 5k's and 2 4k's. The first 5k was a color run on post. I had a really rough time completing it and had to walk some. It took me over 40 minutes, I don't even remember the time. But this weekend, we did another one in Dinkelsbuhl that included several rolling hills. I managed to run the entire thing (full of fertility meds and bloated as a puffer fish)... in 32:51. I know it's still slow, but I was satisfied that I completed it.
And onto the whole reason for this post. We made a huge decision this summer. We decided the doctor we were going to just wasn't the right fit. He is an amazing doctor though. He's smart and has had great success rates. New patients have to wait months to get in to see him. I know a few people who have come home with their own souvenirs from working with him. But he just wasn't our kind of doctor. He was a fast talker and really didn't have much time to explain the nitty gritty details with us during our appointments. He was always rushing off to see his next patient because there was a waiting room full of Mama's knocking at his door. It was time for us to move on. I emailed a clinic in Nurnburg that I'd heard about and they called me back the next day. The doctor we were given... I think was a great match. I don't even have to ask him any questions. It's like he knows what I'm thinking before I have time to ask it. He took the time to answer all of my smallest worries on the first day we met. I feel strong when I walk into his office. Like I'm in control. This is my procedure and he knows I'm spending a lot of money on it. So he won't leave the room until I'm done.
We waited until after the New Year to get started! I went in for the scratching procedure one week before my period. Basically he scratched the lining of my uterus which makes it have to regenerate and fix itself which in turn helps the embryos stick! It was a little painful, and kind of sent my emotions into a frenzy. The next few days I was a little bit of a basket case. I was nervous and pretty much just PMS'ing. John couldn't talk to me. I had several panic attacks and started freaking out about the money. I had to pull out 1700 euro for my shots and that didn't even include the doctors bill that will come later. My period came, and I managed to put my happy face back on. We started our shots this past Thursday! I went in to see the doctor on Day 5. Without having to ask any questions at all, he started explaining what everything was on the ultrasound monitor. He showed us that my lining was around 8.3 thickness. I guess anything over 7 is good! Then he showed us 4 follicles on the right side. He measured the biggest one and said it was about 8mm. We also had about 3-4 on the left side. I feel like 7-8 is a good number to start with. I know last time we had 7 as well and they reduced to 5, but I have strong hopes that that won't happen again. Hopefully these 7-8 will grow big and all have healthy eggs inside. And who knows... maybe we'll even see a few stragglers in the basket on Friday! In any case, we've decided to carry out the procedure no matter what this time. We only need 3 good eggs for transfer day. 3 because that is all they allow you to put back in. And we are all in! John took away some of the pressure by telling me we didn't have to go into this thinking it was our last shot anymore. He is willing to cross that bridge when we come to it. So that made me feel a lot better. Not thinking about how much money we will be spending on it anymore, because those babies will make it all worth it :)
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