My boy is a SPONGE!

Aidan has really been impressing me lately with his knowledge of interesting facts. A few weeks ago he went into detail about the highest award for animal bravery. He knew exactly how many were given to dogs, birds, and even a cat. From that moment on...I decided to actually "hear" him. I am not sure if I had been just disregarding his little thoughts in the past...and I hate to think that I was. But out of the blue he has become this interesting little person to me. Maybe it is because John is not here and he is now relaying his thoughts and opinions onto me instead.

The girls and I have decided to start going to Trivia down at the Front Page Deli (instead of Blackhorse). This will allow us to include him in on the fun. When we did it at the Blackhorse it was up in the bar, so he could not come. We went this last week and Aidan answered 3 of the questions all on his own! Seriously...I never know the answers to any of the questions. I just go to be social.

Anyways...my point is I like what he's becoming. And I am soo proud of this little boy and his sponge of a brain. Yes, there are days when he can get on my nerves and I want to just send him camping. But for the most part, he's a good kid and I am blessed that he is mine.

Flying by....

One month down!!! It has flown by soo quickly too. Now...if I'm lucky enough...the next ones will go just as fast. Aidan and I have been soo busy keeping up with our daily lives that we barely had a chance to think about it. Of course I miss him every night before I go to bed. But it is nice to have something to keep my mind off of it during the day.

Alot has happened since I last posted here. Easter was soo great! We spent the morning with some friends and took a nice little trip to this cool place called Rivermounds. See video here: Easter Video. It was soo much fun and the boys had a blast going down that slide! Then in the evening we were invited over to another friends house for Easter Dinner. She makes the best scalloped potatoes! Yummmm!

The following weekend, Aidan went on his very first campout without mom or dad! I was a little sad to see him off...but I got over it real quick! I had a nice weekend with Reisa! We stayed up till 5 in the morning and got new tattoos! Ha!!! We are soo bad! But it was soo much fun!

Since then...I've just been working like crazy. Photo sessions just about every day! I finally have a chance to sit and catch up on my processing this week (unless I get a last minute phone call).

Thats pretty much it. John called on Friday...and I need to make him a box while I have time this week. He has asked me a few times...but I just get soo caught up in work...that I lose track of time. Today it will be my number one priority. If I don't get it done this week...I will be the most horrible wife EVER! I'm sorry baby...I miss you alot and will have this package in the mail soon...I promise!

Just a Quickie...

Real quick post today. Things are "speeding" down back into normalcy this weekend. Well...as normal as you can get with this kind of lifestyle. My meltdowns have come on less frequently in the last few days. And Aidan...he's as goofy as always. But really...I can't tell you how he is handling it all. We went over to a friends house last night for a birthday get together. There was ONE man there. I didn't realize how much my little guy needed the company of other men in his life. He immediately attatched to this guy like he was his best friend. They had conversations that only men can understand. The ladies all just sat there dumbfounded by what was coming out of my 10 yr old's mouth. I could not believe the facts stored in his little head. Military facts. History facts. What?!?! I guess there comes a time when you have to let go and realize that your children are becoming young adults. But 10 yrs old? I still can't trust him to brush his teeth in the morning. John and I have always been very open and honest with Aidan. If he was curious about something...we told him the brutal truth. But does that make them grow up faster? Maybe not in maturity...but mentally. I don't know if I like it. He is too smart for his own good. Honestly...it scares the hell out of me. I wish John was here to tell me that this is natural. And that boys will be boys I guess. But I don't have to like it!

And now it begins...

I need to get this out now so that I can start the "healing process" as John calls it...

We finally got the call that John would be heading out bright and early. We kept Aidan out of school one more day to have some "family" time. It wasn't the most fun day for me... but it was time. First, I begged him to help me fold the laundry. This is an issue with wives of deployed soldiers. Folding and putting away that last load of his laundry. It's one of those things that make you break down. Because we won't be doing it again for a while. I still have a basket waiting for me, but at least the majority of it is already put away. He also cleared off his dresser top and his side of the bathroom. I don't think I could stand to look at it. There were just too many reminders. Now looking back...I kind of wish it was all still there. See...its little things that get to you.

We hit up our favorite arcade...Dave and Busters...and then drove around Nashville looking for portrait sites for April and I. John insisted on getting a box of Krispy Kremes for his breakfast the following morning. Clarksville doesn't have them...so it was a must before we left. The rest of the day is pretty much a blur because I spent it crying and begging him not to go. I know he doesn't have a choice...but I still couldn't help myself.

He set the alarm for 2am. I didn't get much sleep thinking about the dreaded next morning. And the dogs...they hogged the bed...and he wouldn't let me kick them off. It's cute how attached he is to these dogs that he is always telling me to get rid of. I wonder if they know what's going on. They keep jumping up when they hear a truck drive down the road. And when I say the word "Daddy" they cry at the door. It's sad really.

2am came real early. I quickly got myself ready because I wanted to take pictures. Lots of pictures. Then I discovered that my house was not a great place to take pictures that early in the morning. So I just watched him get ready. I watched him throw on his uniform and lace up his boots one more time. He grabbed his gear and said his goodbye's to the animals. And we were out the door.

My friend Tiffany said she wanted to come with me to support me and also to see John off. I'm extremely happy that she did...because he was leaving with another company. His had already left a few days earlier. I didn't know anyone in the hanger...so it was nice to have her there by my side. We had about an hour to hold each other and tell each other how much we'd miss the other. I tried to keep my mind off of it by snapping more pictures. It made John uncomfortable...but I needed to do it. I wanted to have those moments saved. At the end of the hour, someone came over the intercom and said a quick prayer. I watched John pray, but I had to have that saved as well...so I snapped a few more photos. If you know me...you know that pictures mean the world to me. So I just couldn't help myself! At the end of the prayer we were told to say our goodbyes and for the soldiers to get in line and gear up. Aidan and I fought for the last hug. He would hug him, and then I would hug him...and so on. Finally John said we just needed to do a family hug. It was such a good hug.

The soldiers started lining up. But there were still a few families behind the red line saying their goodbyes. It's a hard thing to watch. It hurt even more to see a family of 5 huddled around in a circle...each of them with tears streaming from their faces. Even the soldier. But they had to seperate. The hanger doors opened and behind them we saw the buses. The group was called to attention and ordered to face right. Red, white and blue came over the speakers and they filed in front of us and out to the buses. John was three rows back...but I watched him closely. When it was his turn to cross in front of us...he gave us the “I love you” sign. We watched them march through the doors and onto the buses. It was hard to tell which one he was on...but it didn't really matter because we couldn’t see them through the tinted windows. We stood outside and waved to all of them. The buses honked and then were gone. I had to catch myself from falling to the ground sobbing...but I looked over and Aidan was almost crying too. You would think after soo many times you would get used to them leaving. But you don't. Our bond has become soo much stronger every time he leaves. It just makes it that much harder to see him go.

I miss him soo much already. But the first couple of days will be the hardest. I have soo many friends to keep my spirits up. And Aidan...he is such a little character. He said he would make me a cake. I love that kid. I promised him a trip to Wal-Mart...so I guess we should get ready for that! And maybe a movie. We need a good, happy movie. Maybe Diary of a Wimpy Kid :). If I had a movie...it'd be called diary of a Wimpy Mommy! And now the happy countdown for John's homecoming is on!

Saying Goodbye to a wonderful Friend...

These deployments bring pain in soo many ways. When I thought it was bad enough to say goodbye to the love of my life, I realized that I am also losing the company of an incredible friend. Trina, one of the strongest women I know...will also be heading out shortly. We have had soo much fun together...and also some heartache.

I will never forget the night I met her. I felt a bit out of place in a room full of soldiers with their wives who had been in the unit for years already. But when Trina walked through the doors she looked right over at me and waved. I just assumed she was a spouse like me. I whispered to John and asked if he knew her. Why was she waving at me? "She is a new pilot too", he said. Her welcoming smile immediately put me at ease. She came over and sat by us. John introduced me and she introduced her husband, Jesse. That was the beginning of a friendship I will never forget.

Every other weekend following that night, we spent enjoying time together at their house or ours by a fire. We even bought four wheelers together and took trips to Land between the Lakes to ride. Our children became good friends as well. When John and Trina came home from the last deployment, we picked up right where we left off.

In May, we had a Memorial Day BBQ. We invited several of our close friends. The pool was set up and we were all having a great time. That evening, something awful happened. Jesse jumped into the pool and had an accident. He hit his head on the pool floor and broke his neck. In that instant, all of our lives were changed forever. What I've watched their family go through is so inconceivable. Trina's strength through all of it has amazed me. And she still finds time to be such a great friend to me. You can read more about her experiences here: Trina's Blog.

I will miss you Trina and will always pray for you and your family. Come home soon!

THIS SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously...this F'ing Sucks again. Excuse my language. I am mad...sad...and irritated! Comon already...make up your friggen minds!

Comfortable Darkness...

I already prepared myself for him to have left by now. But he's still here. Don't get me wrong...it is wonderful to have him home for a bit longer. But this just means I'll be starting the emotional stages all over again. But when? We are still in the dark about actual dates. It is soo very frustrating not knowing exactly when. I've had to put alot of things on hold to make sure I wasn't in the middle of working when the time came. Now instead of sad...I am irritated. I hate telling my clients that I can't schedule sessions right now. And if I did schedule, I would feel bad for having to cancel. The good part about this is that I am not the emotional wreck I was last week. I am comfortable. For now.