A Year In-Between...

I was just sitting here thinking about the title of my blog and how appropriately it has reflected our life. I originally named it before the last deployment. It was intended to be a diary that he could come to while he was away for that year. I knew I would continue to write when he returned, but I was worried the title would not fit anymore. But... it still does. Over our 13 years of marriage, we have shared 3 together. The timing of his training activities/deployments/field exercises.. always lands on our anniversary for some reason. He once said to me... "Hunny... it would not be our anniversary if I was home". This is soo true. I don't even know how we would celebrate it. Our first anniversary together was shared when I had to take emergency leave to see my grandmother in the hospital. Shortly after we left her, she passed away. The second anniversary we shared was in Ft. Rucker. It was the night before he went to SERE... so he was frantically packing up his bags. The third anniversary we shared was at Ft. Campbell. That was the night before he left me again for High Altitude training... so he was consumed with anticipation then as well. Oct 23, 1997. That is the only day that matters. It was a PERFECT day. We skipped on over to the courthouse in downtown Fayetteville and were wed by a country man. Our vows were unique. When the justice of the peace read them to us, we both confused his words for "In richness and in property". And we BOTH repeated them that way. We then went with a couple of my friends for an IHOP celebratory breakfast. Next, John and I went on our barracks honeymoon. Beer, pizza, and movies. To me... that was the perfect day.

I'm getting off track here. My point is... it is not only A Year Without Him. There are soo many times that he is gone during important life events. I'm not sure how we plan it this way... but it just happens. Today. I woke up wanting him here with me. I always wake up wanting him here. But today we might actually be conceiving a child (or two). It just seems odd that he's not here for that. Of course... I would not wait for this. We've been waiting for this for 12 years. It's time... and so what if it landed at an inappropriate time? It's happening... and it has to work. I can't wait to make new life with him. It was so incredibly, awesome the first time. I just want/need more. And now I'm off to my surgery!!!