Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Bye Bye Fallopian Tubes...

Yesterday we finally went in to see the OB that will do my surgery. At first I was impatient and wanted to have this done immediately. But after Tricare pulled their stunt with taking away our medication costs, I got frustrated and gave up. After all... that means another 1000 euro or so to add on top of what we already paid and will be paying again. Yes I'm complaining, and I know I should consider myself lucky that we aren't doing this in the states. I know it costs 3 times as much there. But this was one of the many reasons we came to Germany. Because we were told fertility treatments were easier to obtain here. And now Tricare is making that even more impossible.

We decided to take our time with this. Some days I am ready for the next step... some I am so negative about the whole experience, I just don't care to put myself through it again. But I will because I do want more babies. So the next step is one I thought about long and hard. Removing what is left of my tubes. It was not an easy decision... do not be excited about this "for me". It's not exciting for me and it does not make me happy. Remember, 4 months ago I had no idea my girlie parts were deceiving me. I just thought "it wasn't our time"... "it will happen when it happens". NO! IT WON'T. It will happen WHEN I MAKE IT HAPPEN! And now I am taking away any chance of it ever happening on it's own. No matter what the doctors tell me... there is still that little thought in my head that says... but what if we had a miracle. What if one of those embryo's fought it's way so hard to make it down the tube through the scar tissue and MADE IT! This surgery will remove any of that hope. And I am incredibly sad about it. But... I will do what I have to to remove any and all obstacles standing in our way for our next round of IVF.

I met the OB yesterday and she was very nice. I like her and look forward to seeing her when we do get pregnant. She explained the surgery to me. It is a simple outpatient surgery... laparoscopically done through the naval and then two on the right and left sides of my abdomen. They will cut out the remaining right tube and clean up what remains from the left one. They will also close off the holes where the tubes connect to the uterus so that fluid will not continue to leak in and wash away my beautiful embryos. I asked her if I could go back to work the following day, but she suggested that I take the rest of the week off. I had to reschedule 5 photo sessions. I have no days off between now and the day before my surgery... so that was stressful. But I'm ready to tackle my busy season I guess.

The surgery is scheduled for April 3rd. John has to take the day off from work to be with me. We met the anesthesiologist and he explained his process. He was also very nice and spoke English very well. I guess that's that. Hoping nothing else goes wrong when they get in there... We really want more babies!!!!!


  1. *hugs* to you Paige. You are a very brave woman and I hope your surgery and recovery goes well! :)