First of all, sorry for bad grammar, run ons, and just plain being all crazy squirrel in this post. I'm still a little dizzy from the anesthesia, but wanted to write this while it was still fresh. Maybe I'll fix it later... but maybe not... who really cares!
Today was Egg harvesting and Conception day! Holy bundle of nerves batman! First off, I should tell you that I had grown some weird emotional attachment to my growing eggs. I was super nervous about them coming out and scared to lose any of them in the process. I worked so hard for those 6 "good" eggs, it would just be so devastating to see any of them not make it. I wasn't very concerned with the 3 smaller ones or even the 2 uber tiny ones. But those 6... I just had to have those 6. I knew last night, that I would never fall asleep naturally. So I gave myself a melatonin. I'd also heard melatonin helps with egg quality, so I've been taking it occasionally to help put myself to sleep. I slept pretty well and only woke up once at 4am ready to get the show on the road. Alas, we still had 2 hours before we could leave the house so I managed to drift back to sleep for another hour or so. Finally it was time to get ready. I was showered, dressed, and had the car warming up before John even got out of the shower. Excited much??? The hour drive up to the clinic was quiet. John knew I was on the verge of tears from worry, so I guess he didn't want to push the button and send me over the edge. Every now and then he rubbed my leg and told me it was going to be ok.
We made it to the clinic 30 minutes early so we both had bloodwork done and were sent down to the Surgery floor. John was in a hurry because he had to get back to training at the base. He can only miss 4 hours of class or he has to take the whole 6 week ordeal over again. I was upset that he wouldn't be able to stay with me, but it was more important that he was there at all this time and we wouldn't have to use frozen sperm. Hehe! So I asked my friend to switch out with him and drive me home after the surgery.
At 8:30am, a technician came out to get me and I had to kiss my husband goodbye. I started to cry a little that he wouldn't be there when I woke up... but I had other things to focus on now. Getting dressed into my ugly hospital gown, hat and plastic footies! The technician came back in and escorted me to the operating room. Operating rooms are always so damn scary! All the metal trays, monitors, and tools. There was a weird drilling sound coming from the corner that I decided to ignore because it was giving me a panic attack. I clumsily got myself up onto the table where they covered me with a blanket and began searching for veins. The arm rest thingy was on the left side, so she pulled up my sleeve and noticed my tattoo! I guess that scared her because she decided against that vein and went for my hand instead. The hand wasn't working out too well because I heard some confusion in their voices even though they were speaking German. My sweet new Dr. N walked in and said "Hello" in a cheery tone that calmed me a little. He asked how I was doing, which I replied to with "can we make some babies now"? The anesthesiologist came in moments later and started working on my other arm instead. There wasn't an arm rest there, so it was a little awkward, as he held my arm in his armpit instead. Haha! Dr. N seemed a little concerned with my hand and asked me if it hurt. I didn't know what he was talking about until I asked him why should it? He frowned and said oh just a little bit of damage to the vein now. No big deal. He brushed my shoulder a few times and said "We are going to take care of you... don't worry... breathe in and out". His face was the last thing I saw or remember before waking up in a room with 4 other patients. The nurse came over to me and asked if I was good. I nodded and asked her when I could go home. I was so ready to get out of there already!!! I found a clock on the wall that said 9:30am! She said I could leave in 20 minutes. I don't think I was there that long even. I kept asking her if I could go home, and she finally gave in and helped me up. I got dressed quickly and found Denise sitting out in the waiting area. We were told to go back up to the IVF clinic to speak with the doctor. I was so nervous, my heart was pounding wondering if it went well and how many we collected!
I called John to see if he was still there, but he didn't answer. So Denise came into the Doctors office with me while we waited a little longer until he finished up with his last patient in another room. John called! He was still in the clinic!!! I was so excited to have him there with me while we got our good or bad news. So Denise went back out into the waiting room and John came in. Dr. N came in with a happy face and shook John's hand. I couldn't contain myself any longer and just shouted... "was it good, how did it go". He could tell I was being impatient so he just shook his head and said yes, very good, with a smile on his face. We collected 8... or maybe 9... let me check the chart again. Yes... 6 very good eggs, and 2 smaller that haven't completely matured yet. We will keep those in a dish and let them mature some more and hopefully they can be ICSI'd this afternoon. The other 6 are being ICSI'd NOW! He gave me some prescriptions and explained to me about preparing the uterine lining with progesterone and estrogen, and scheduled the transfer for Monday at 9am!!! But until then, we have to wait and hope that most of these eggs will fertilize. I don't know if I can stand the next 24 hours waiting!
BUT OMG... we are putting babies in there on Monday!!!!!!
I can't get over the outpouring of support we've received from all of our friends and families throughout this process. Even if this isn't our time, I am so thankful for all of your well wishes, thoughts, and prayers. I could not have made it this far without every single one of your uplifting words of encouragement. You all bring me strength, smiles, and comfort! Thankyou, Thankyou! 
I love the way Dr. N talks to me with such reassuring words. He stood up and said "And now we give them back to you". They can finally be back in my possession where I can keep them safe for the next 9 months! We moved into the transfer room where I undressed and hopped up into the stirrups. He pointed to the monitor on the wall and showed me my two little embryos. "Look, there they are together.. you can talk to them". They were sticking to each other like 2 little peas in a pod. My friend sat by my head and held my hand for the whole transfer. The embryologist used a catheter to scoop up my little balls of cells and gently handed it off to the doctor. In less than 10 seconds they were transferred back into their home. I checked my clock and it was 9:34. It was such a sentimental experience. I was sad that John couldn't be there, but thankful for my friend. I laid there for the next 20 minutes scared to stand up. So we just sat there taking silly selfies and laughing about how I am technically pregnant with twins now. But it's not over yet. They have to stick. It's more waiting, but I feel calm . A relief that I've done everything I can to make it to this point. This round has been so much stronger than the first time. There are so many positives. I can't think of a single thing that would make this not work. It's all up to the embabies and my uterus now. 
